Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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