doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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