The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
