fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
