how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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