its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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