Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
