oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
