nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
