Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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(404): View more from Georgia

She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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(818): View more from California

I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(850): View more from Florida

if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?

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(819): View more from Quebec

I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.

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(338): View more from

She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”

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