i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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