I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
