I puked a lego.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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