dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My cat gives me a boner
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
