What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
