my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
