and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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