I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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