You can't motorboat a personality
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
