So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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