I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
