Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How external is "for external use only"?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
