just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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