you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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