too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
