You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
