So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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