Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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