yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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