i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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