I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
