she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
