I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that's an acceptable place to lick
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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