anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
