I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
