plz talk dirty to me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
