I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
