That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
