Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
