If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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