Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
