After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
