Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
