They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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