I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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