3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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