..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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