Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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