He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
