i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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